Choose Your Hard: Stay or Leave the Relationship

When we are in a tough spot in a relationship we sometimes question whether or not we should stay or go. There's nothing simple about answering tihs question, barring the presence of abuse (then leave when you're safe to, though sometimes you may not have a choice). Some people seriously considering leaveing want to make sure they tried every avenue before cutting ties. Others have hard boundaries around certain areas (like relapse, infedelity, and mental/physical health care).

If you find yourself stuck trying to make a decision between a rock and a hard place, remember you have a choice and get to choose your hard. Empowerment...it's wild how often we convince ourselves we don't have the "luxury" of choice.

In case you haven't ever seen the quote I'm referencing, see below:

But really, how do you choose whether or not to stay or go? Again, no simple answer, as you have to determine what you value most and do your best to make decisions that align with your integrity. Maybe some of the questions below can help you out.

1. Do you need to know if you tried everything before leaving? What haven't you tried?

2. Are you showing up as yourself in the relationship?

3. Are you able to grow more in your own alignment within the relationship or are you being held back for some reason? Is the barrier negotiable?

4. Are you both willing to do the work to improve things?

   1. If not, are you willing to accept your relationship as it is, while working on what you can to improve things for yourself? *Remember, you choose your hard.

   2. If not, are you willing to let go of future hopes and expectations and learn to love your relationship and your partner exactly as they exist today?

5. Do you want a relationship that is placed on the backburner and sometimes taken for granted or do you want a relationship that is prioritized and nurtured regularly?